Application Letter Mistakes

These funnies landed on the desk of the Human Resources Director

  1. I have a graduate degree in unclear physics.
  2. My hobbies include raising long-eared rabbis as pets.
  3. My last job was as a plumbing and hating specialists.
  4. I worked for 6 years as an uninformed security guard.
  5. The academic scholarship I earned came with a plague.
  6. Most of my experience to this point has been as a blue-color worker.
  7. As part of the city maintenance crew, I repaired bad roads and defective brides.
  8. My career goal is to shave my talents with a growing company.
  9. This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘typist And an accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.
  10. As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

(Thanks to Will and Guy’s Human Resources Horror Stories)

Good hunting

Please help us help you by answering our Job Search Poll

Barry

Check out VirtualJobCoach for Free Resources and useful Downloads.

Join the VirtualJobCoach LinkedIn group

Application Letter Mistakes

These funnies landed on the desk of the Human Resources Director

  1. I have a graduate degree in unclear physics.
  2. My hobbies include raising long-eared rabbis as pets.
  3. My last job was as a plumbing and hating specialists.
  4. I worked for 6 years as an uninformed security guard.
  5. The academic scholarship I earned came with a plague.
  6. Most of my experience to this point has been as a blue-color worker.
  7. As part of the city maintenance crew, I repaired bad roads and defective brides.
  8. My career goal is to shave my talents with a growing company.
  9. This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘typist And an accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.
  10. As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

(Thanks to Will and Guy’s Human Resources Horror Stories)

Good hunting

Please help us help you by answering our Job Search Poll

Barry

Check out VirtualJobCoach for Free Resources and useful Downloads.

Join the VirtualJobCoach LinkedIn group

Poll Results – What is your greatest challenge in Job Search?

We recently put a poll out on LinkedIn asking people about their greatest challenges in job search and we are now able to publish the results. If you haven’t participated in the poll yet please go and do it now, more data equals more knowledge. We asked 5 questions based on feed back we have already received as being the key items that provide roadblocks to job search. The choices are: Resume Summary, Resume Achievements, Networking, Keeping Track of Activities and Staying Focused. Continue reading

Job-Search Insanity – 10 Steps to Break the Cycle

I recently met a new client who has been out of work for some time and has decided to re-energize his search after a period of failure sitting behind his computer. With this in mind I ask you the question “Have you ever wondered why your job search isn’t working?” Every day you get up, sit behind your computer, search the job boards and pray to see something new and exciting that has ‘YOU‘ written all over it. Continue reading

Depression and the Job-Search – What Causes it?

Job-search sucks, the economy sucks and we are at record unemployment. But it doesn’t have to cause depression. There are specific reasons people get ‘stuck’ in the job-search and get depressed. It happens to most job-seekers but why? The answer is simple but most people choose to ignore it. It is easier to avoid ‘work’ in the job-search than to change your behavior. Sounds crazy? Let’s look at a typical story: Continue reading

How Applicants Speak (and what they mean) – Funny

“I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS:”
I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of coffee breaks.

“I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS:”
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

“I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:”
I’ve used Microsoft Office.

“I’M HONEST, HARDWORKING AND DEPENDABLE:”
I pilfer office supplies.

“MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:”
I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

“I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:”
I blame others for my mistakes.

“I’M PERSONABLE:”
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

“I’M WILLING TO RELOCATE:”
As I leave San Quentin, anywhere is better.

“I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:”
I carry a Franklin Planner.

“MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS:”
You’re probably looking for someone more experienced.

“I AM ADAPTABLE:”
I’ve changed jobs a lot.

“I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:”
The minute I find a better job. I’m outta there.

“I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING:”
I’m a college dropout.

“THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION:”
Wait! Don’t throw me away!

“I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON:”
Like, I’m gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.

Good hunting

Please help us help you by answering our Job Search Poll

Barry

Check out VirtualJobCoach for Free Resources and useful Downloads.

Join the VirtualJobCoach LinkedIn group

How Applicants Speak (and what they mean) – Funny

“I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS:”
I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of coffee breaks.

“I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS:”
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

“I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:”
I’ve used Microsoft Office.

“I’M HONEST, HARDWORKING AND DEPENDABLE:”
I pilfer office supplies.

“MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:”
I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

“I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:”
I blame others for my mistakes.

“I’M PERSONABLE:”
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

“I’M WILLING TO RELOCATE:”
As I leave San Quentin, anywhere is better.

“I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:”
I carry a Franklin Planner.

“MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS:”
You’re probably looking for someone more experienced.

“I AM ADAPTABLE:”
I’ve changed jobs a lot.

“I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:”
The minute I find a better job. I’m outta there.

“I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING:”
I’m a college dropout.

“THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION:”
Wait! Don’t throw me away!

“I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON:”
Like, I’m gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.

Good hunting

Please help us help you by answering our Job Search Poll

Barry

Check out VirtualJobCoach for Free Resources and useful Downloads.

Join the VirtualJobCoach LinkedIn group